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It's true. it happened just yesterday.
She was silent but she was a nice friend. Quite boy-obsessed. Shy. Reserved. A little anti-social. The person I used to be. Secretive. Afraid maybe?

It was like facing a window of the person I used to be. She didn't talk to me much. I guess she found me annoying. A little too open...too noisy.

I guess that's how I would've looked at the present me.

She listened to the same music. Or at least the music I used to listen to. Red, Bullet For My Valentine, 30 Seconds to Mars, Devil Wears Prada, etc. Oh..and guess what? She likes Tom too.

I tried talking to her but she would just nod. Yes, it annoyed me. But then again...this WAS me...

I hate my past.

Do I?
It's hard to admit. Hard to tell. Hard to decide.

When I see her, I say to myself, "I hope she won't go through where I've gone."
And I think again. "I hope she goes through what had happened to me, because life is better this way. Not being restricted. Being free to do what you wish to speak...as long as you don't hurt other people's hearts."

How did I change?
PAIN. Through countless tears that have fallen from my eyes. Through stabs of dull knives on my heart.
But because of the pain, I learned to love. To love others and love myself.
When people ask me, "Why are you so obsessed with Tokio Hotel?"
My answer is, "Because I love them. Because God used them to bring me out of the darkness I used to be in. Don't try to understand. I know you couldn't."

That's why...I hate no one...because everything...including the pain I have gone through brought me to where I am today.

To those who have hurt me. To those who broke my heart, caused my tears to fall, crushed my soul a little bit...

Thank you.

Angel Don't You Cry by ~iloveZukoZutara on deviantART
Now I'm here
No more fears
Angel, don't you cry
I'll meet you on the other side

Goodbye
Into the light
Like a phantomrider
I'm dying tonight
So dark and cold
I drive alone
Like a phantom rider
Can't make it all on my own

One of the many factors that could affect unfaithfulness of a person, or generally the lifestyle and relationships, is a vice. A vice such as alcohol consumption is the most popular nowadays since it is taken to be legal for adults in most countries.
Alcohol, the most commonly used and widely abused psychoactive drug in the world, according to the Greater Dallas Council on Alcohol and Drug Abuse, can increase the incidence of a variety of aggressive acts, which according to users were caused by loss of control over their senses. This effect of alcoholism cause men and women to lose focus over their relationships and tend to attend to their sudden sexual urges.
The question then is; who uses alcohol more: men or women? Which gender tends to lose control over their senses that faithfulness to their partners would be forgotten?
According to the current estimates calculated by the Alcohol Epidemiologic Data System of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism this September 2009, a percentage of 55 are men and 45 are women among current drinkers. Also, on average, heavy drinking women take more than one drink per day while heavy drinking men take more than two drinks per day in the past year. On average, moderate drinking women take more than 3 drinks but no more than 7 drinks per week and same for men only that their maximum alcohol intake is 14 drinks per week.
The Summary of Findings from the 2001 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse tells us that within a 30 day-observation, men intake alcohol on an average of 12.2 days and women on an average of 4.9 days.
National Cancer Institute's Epidemiology Study states that the percentage of heavy drinking men which is 81.4% is higher than the percentage of heavy drinking women which is 18.6%.
In England in 2005, 73 per cent of men and 58 per cent of women were reported drinking an alcoholic drink on at least one day in the week prior to interview. Thirteen per cent of men and 8 per cent of women were reported drinking on every day in the previous week.
Among men, 24 per cent reported drinking on average more than 21 units in a week. For women, 13 per cent reported drinking more than 14 units in an average week.
Thirty four per cent of men and 20 per cent of women had drunk more than the recommended number of units on at least one day in the week prior to interview. Eighteen per cent of men and 8 per cent of women had drunk more than twice the recommended daily intake.
The researches conducted conclude that the alcohol intake of men is higher compared to that of women, also that the number of alcohol drinking men are higher than the number of alcohol drinking women, thus showing the higher possibility of men to become unfaithful in a relationship.

This was supposed to be a song fic..but then a plot came upon me so..this is going to be a series. This is my first shot on Tokio Hotel and no. This isn't slash.

Title: Geh
Chapter Title: Chapter 1 - Unentwined
Genre: Romance, Drama
Warnings: Slight OOC.
Chapter Characters: Tom Kaulitz, You(written in first person)
Summary: Just when she had become the air he breathed. Just when he found who he really was, she was about to leave. He was the air that she breathed too. She couldn't leave.  That was, until he said, "Go."

Non-beta-ed just yet..
( Chapter 1: Unentwined )

Well...that was the first chapter. I know it's pretty short but I'll update it as soon as I can!

Ehm....yeah...I tried writing in the first person narration. Not my style really...but at guess I pulled it off..^^

Bill Kaulitz in a Katie bob by ~iloveZukoZutara on deviantART

I was bored 'kay? So I wrote this song...i like it actually.
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( In the silence, I sream out your name )
________________

Chords are: Em-G-D-C
pretty easy, eh? I was lying on the bed playing with my guitar then the chorus struck my head.. :D

"I tried...but you don't seem to notice. I if tell you, I'll be hurt. I f i don't, I still will hurt. What should I do? Forget? I can't. But...I tried so hard for you to notice me...I've given up...I think."

( Read more... )

I need help. A lot of help. Tell me what to do. I can't afford having a clouded head when my exam is up coming. I can't go through this emotional/mental war anymore!

1. A community survey on population and economic status. (I'm gonna have a hard time. I'm a bit anti-social in my neighborhood)

2. A costume of Misa for my friend...(the yaoi introducer)

3. Dinner. (stir-fried pork and vegetables)

4. A Snape/Lily/James doujinshi.(still working on page 3.)

5. Writing the second chapter of Unrequited Love.(I've told myself like ten times to write.)

6. Practice singing: "I Finally Found Someone". (Requested to have a duet)

7. Learn "Fukai Mori" on guitar. (I know how to play "The World" by Nightmare!)

8. Reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.(a review for my doujinshi)

9. A review on Philippine Hose Bill 4110.

10. Saving for a new phone and mp3 player. (I can't afford an iPod...:P)

So here's "Unrequited Love , Chapter 1: Make-Up" (Edited Version) :D
Arigato Gozaimasu Koki-chan for the help! Thanks for the edit!

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( Unrequited Love, Chapter 1: Make-Up )

I'm really looking forward to watching the 2nd season! I'm supposed to do a report on my research...oh shiiiiiiiiit, I haven't started even a bit! Oh well, I love JR too much!

1. Takahashi Misaki (he's so cute! Even as an uke!)
2. Suzuki-san (big, fluffy teddy with cute yellow tie!)
3. Kamijou Hiroki (Hiro-san! He's so cute! I love his angsty and anti-social demeanor)
4. Usami Akihiko (he's just simply funny. I love his voice.)
5. Kusama Nowaki (I love his character. He's so understanding and all. He would be the best boyfriend ever! And what's more, his voice is sooooooooooooooo beautiful!!!)

A little explanation of how I fell in love with Junjou Romantica:

Me and my friends are anime addicts. She told me that she and her sister were surfing the net then saw a really cute picture of a red-head guy. When they watched the video her sister shrieked, "What the hell is that! Don't! Don't! Don't!". Then, out of curiosity, my friend watched the whole OVA when her little sister fell asleep. So there, she discovered the wonders of yaoi! Then she discovered Junjou Romantica and told me about the "kiss to make you stop crying thing." Then she spread the news about yaoi and I got immediately hooked to it! Since I've watched the whole series, I've started to ask people, "How do you classify yourself? Homosexual? Bisexual? Heterosexual?" So there, I became extremely weird. Then I started to enter communities on LiveJournal and read fictions. I LOVE JUNJOU ROMANTICA! I'm not so in with Terrorist much...


So there's MisakixAkihiko with my sweet Suzuki-san!

So this is like, the cutest thing about NowakixHiroki...Hiroki just softens up whenever the "giant" pats his head! Kawaii!

1. Bold what's true.
2. Leave plain what's false.
3. Add one of your own at the end.

( Know how crazy I am... )

 

_________________________________________
Edit:
I thought of editing this meme. The last time I did this, I'm pretty sure I was possessed by some pervy emo-nerd monster...*laughs*
I'm not a drama geek anymore! Haha...I guess Billi-bye-bye's songs did the counseling for me. ^^
Oh and...friends please!

choco_guitarholic@hotmail.com  <I'm addicted to chocolate and my guitar...and a certain guitarist..^^

XOXO

My first shot on Zutara:
 

( Never The End )

The full moon shone above them, Aang, Katara, Zuko, Sokka, and Toph. They have been talking about what just happened when the Comet arrived.

“You WHAT?!” Sokka exclaimed

“Azula tried to shoot the lightning to Katara and I jumped, just right in time, in front of it.”

“You should have seen the look on her face! It was hilarious!” Katara said.

Zuko stared at her. Now that they were friends, now that he almost gave his life for her, he couldn’t believe that they remained like this, just friends.

“Katara, can I talk with you for a sec?” the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“Sure, why not?”

“Privately.” He said calmly

“Good. Your not blowing it up.” He thought

She walked inside the Jasmine Dragon, Zuko trailing behind her. They got inside a private compartment for special customers and they sat on cushions facing each other.

“What is it that you want to talk about?” she started.

“I was just wondering, why…we’re…like this.”

“What ‘like this’?” she asked, obviously confused.

He stood up and turned his back on her.

“Never mind.” He said glumly.

She stood up and placed he right hand on his shoulder.

“Please. Tell me. I don’t understand, but it seems to bother you.” She said worryingly.

He grabbed her hand with his left and swung to kiss her.

He thought she would push him away, but surprisingly, she didn’t.

He brushed his tongue on her lip, asking for entrance. And surprisingly again, she permitted him.

The kiss felt like hours, days, weeks, months to them. It seemed like eternity.

“KATARA! SOKKA JUST GOT HIS FINGERS BURNT!” Aang announced to none of the rooms in particular.

They broke apart.

“That wasn’t weird.”

“Katara. Aang was just calling you.” Zuko said breathlessly.

“Yeah.” She reached out to the door of the compartment. “Thanks.”

“Thanks. She wanted to kiss me too.”

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Updated soon!
Comments and Advice is loved!